This summer I have two distinct groups of children. Half my group is
very young – infants and toddlers – eager to explore and learn but just
beginning to master some basic skills. The rest of the children are
school-age – they usually prefer group activities but often become
impatient when they think the pace is too slow.
The older children always seem so confused when they go to help one
of the little ones and I say “No, don’t”. Yes, I think it is absolutely
wonderful that they want to offer assistance but often what they are
doing is actually not helping.
Yes, sometimes the little ones do seem frustrated when they are
trying to do something but that doesn’t mean they need help. They are
trying and retrying and eventually they will do it. Maybe it won’t
happen today, tomorrow or even next week but they are still trying. If
you do it for them you are taking away their opportunity to learn.
Yes, sometimes they even ask you to help them — that also doesn’t mean they need
help. They have learned that you can do it faster/better than they can
and you might be willing to do it for them so they don’t have to do the
work. They know how to do it but they still need to practice before
they are able to do it well. You can assist by encouraging them to do
it — cheer them on and celebrate their success.
Yes, I know she wants to climb up there but she can’t quite reach.
If you help her up there how is she going to get down? Even when she
does learn to climb up by herself she will still also need to learn to
get down. Right now she’s not ready for either one. Holding her hand
while she tries to climb actually makes it harder for her – it puts her
balance off center and makes her footing unstable.
We’re halfway through the summer and I think they’re finally
beginning to understand. The older ones are learning to pause and
observe — to assess the situation to determine if assistance is really
necessary. They’re learning that not helping is hard but sometimes it is the most helpful thing they can do.
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